How a Misstep at the Crosswalk Reminded Me What Teams Need Most
The other day, Heidi (my wife) and I were out for our usual walk. Nothing fancy—just our normal 1.3-mile loop through the neighborhood. Honestly, at this point, Einstein (our dog) and I could probably do this walk blindfolded.
We got to a four-way stop where a car was waiting. The driver motioned for us to go. Heidi motioned back for them to go. I motioned again for them to go, and then the car waved for us to go, so naturally, I waved again for them to go. You know the move. The “wave-to-go” dance. Neither side wanting to be rude, both sides just… stuck.
Finally, I thought, this is crazy. So I waved thank-you, and started walking across. Problem was—apparently the driver had the same idea at the same time. They started rolling forward just as I stepped off the curb. I jumped back to the curb and then the car finally went through the intersection.
Of course, Heidi didn’t follow me. She just stood there, watching this unfold like, what are you doing? She didn’t even have to say anything. I already felt kind of dumb. I just shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”
The car stopped, No one got hurt—it was just awkward. But it stuck with me.
The problem wasn’t the driver. It was us. Or if you ask Heidi, it was me. We weren’t aligned. And what made it worse is that apparently, we had talked about this before. Heidi reminded me—“We always let the cars go first.” It was our default. Our shared plan. And I totally blew past it.
I was trying to help. So was she. But we didn’t communicate. And that created confusion. A simple look and a quick, “Let’s just let them go,” would’ve saved us the whole awkward moment.
Seems simple, right?
But how often do things like this happen in leadership?
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Here are are a few leadership lessons I’m reminded of from this story:
- Don’t assume alignment—confirm it.
We had a plan. But in the moment, I forgot. And we never paused to check in with each other. Same goes for teams—just because you’ve talked about something before doesn’t mean you’re all on the same page now. Things change. People forget. Clarity fades. Alignment takes intention.
- Clarity beats courtesy.
We were all being polite. But no one was being clear. That’s not leadership. Your team doesn’t need vague waves—they need confident direction. A clear, “I’ve got it” or “let’s go” or “let’s wait” goes a lot further than three uncertain hand gestures and a sheepish shrug.
- Communicate before you move.
I stepped out without making sure we were good. Not malicious. Just reactive. But leadership requires that moment of pause—just long enough to check in with your people. That one beat can save you from stepping into unnecessary messes.
- Pressure exposes cracks.
Honestly, I felt a little pressure. The driver was waiting. We were paused. I didn’t want to be the guy holding things up. So I deviated from the plan. Under pressure, even good leaders can drift. That’s when proactive communication matters most.
- Your team is watching you.
Heidi was trusting our agreement. When I broke from that without saying anything, it created confusion, and I ended up looking silly. Same in leadership—your team watches your moves. If you pivot, let them know why. A clear signal builds trust. A vague one… not so much.
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It was just a walk. Just a quick moment.
And maybe that’s the thing—most leadership missteps aren’t giant crashes. They’re little miscommunications, small assumptions, unspoken pressure, and missed opportunities to pause and align.
So the next time you’re in one of those “wave-to-go” moments with your team—pause, observe and communicate.
A quick and clear check-in goes a long way.
One Intentional Move 